Nelka Shiromala: Breaking New Ground One Jab at a Time

Everystory Sri Lanka
9 min readAug 28, 2024

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by Rikaza Hassan

Everystory Sri Lanka is delighted to presents a new short series under its flagship program, “Stories of Sri Lankan Women,” with the support of the Embassy of France to Sri Lanka. This series spotlights the inspiring journeys of three remarkable sportswomen from the island.

Illustrated by Danushri

Having punched her way through glass ceilings her whole life, it is no surprise that Nelka has chosen a pair of boxing gloves as one of her two artifacts for this interview.

One of the first women to take up the male-dominated sport of boxing in Sri Lanka, Thambu Nelka Shiromala was, at first, following in her father’s footsteps. He was a boxer and then a boxing coach at Sri Lanka Navy and had four daughters–no sons. “His dream was to have someone follow in his footsteps,” says Nelka. Women had been boxing since at least the 1700s. One of the earliest known women’s boxing matches was between Elizabeth Wilkinson and Hannah Hayfield in London in 1722. However, the first edition of the Women’s World Amateur Boxing Championships was only held in 2001, seven years after women’s boxing was formally recognized at the 13th AIBA Congress. Women’s boxing in Sri Lanka began in 2000, and Nelka’s father approached his eldest daughter to pioneer the sport. “He asked me, ‘Nelka, would you like to start boxing? I can be your coach … He put the gloves on [my hand]. He wanted to see me at the Olympics one day.”

Representing the Sri Lanka Police Sports Club as their first female boxer, Nelka’s maiden match was against the Sri Lanka Army, with only two weeks of training under her belt compared to her opponent’s six months. “I boxed three rounds against a strong opponent. I lost, but it was not a loss”, she shared and then went on to become the winner of the first-ever Amateur Boxing Association Novices meet for women and runner-up at the Nationals for five consecutive years. In 2005, she bid goodbye to boxing to join the UN Peacekeeping Force in East Timor, where she served as a close protection officer to dignitaries such as the Deputy Special Representative to the Secretary-General and the President, Prime Minister and Opposition Leader of the South-East Asian nation. In 2009, she returned to the sport as a referee and judge.

Her second chosen artifact is a mascot from the Tokyo 2020 Summer Olympics (held in 2021 due to the COVID-19 pandemic), and Nelka describes how “The Tokyo Olympics changed my life.” Here, Nelka was chosen to judge 33 bouts and referee 11 bouts — ensuring the Sri Lankan flag was displayed 44 times during the event. (Nelka has once again qualified as an Olympic-level technical official and will attend the Paris 2024 Olympic Games in August.) In her usual fashion, she also went about setting records. Having arrived at the Olympics as the first female technical official ever to represent Sri Lanka at the event, she returned home with more records in hand — as the first woman to officiate two final round bouts and the first woman to referee a final round in the men’s light heavyweight category.

The historic honor was the zenith of years of record-breaking achievements, from becoming the first female 3-star referee from South Asia and Southeast Asia, the only woman selected to referee the finals of the Asian Championships 2015 in Thailand, the first woman to be recognized as the Best Referee (men and women) at the Asian Boxing Confederation 2017 and the first Sri Lankan delegate from any sport at the Gold Coast Commonwealth Games in 2018. In the parlance of Dharmasiri Weerakoon, a former national champion who represented Ceylon in boxing in the 1960 Rome Olympics and created history as the first Sri Lankan Olympic boxing referee at the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul, South Korea, Nelka had become the ‘Queen of the Ring.’

The moment was also a culmination of her father’s dream and legacy. Having failed to reach the Olympics, he passed on the dream to his daughter. Sadly, he passed away just before Nelka was informed that he qualified to participate in the biggest sporting event in the world. She was outside the funeral parlor, waiting to be allowed in (due to the COVID restrictions prevalent at the time), when she received an email informing her of her selection. Her first instinct was to say no. But having been dissuaded by a friend not to be hasty, she waited and, two days before the deadline, accepted the invitation.

“It was a very hard time for me,” says Nelka. Having returned from the European Olympic qualifying competition in France, where she had been informed of the news on her last day, she had to quarantine for two weeks. The room was huge, and Nelka was alone. She was not allowed to attend her father’s funeral or almsgiving ceremony. She would only get to spend two weeks at home before she had to quarantine again to attend the Olympics, where she was also quarantined. “I wonder because I didn’t make a single mistake [at the Olympics]; it was because of my father’s blessings. After his passing, I fulfilled his dream.”

“In Sinhala, boxing is described as ‘guti noka prahara deema’ (punching without getting hit),” says Nelka. “I learned many things from boxing: Patience, how to face challenges, how to control a crowd, how to give commands. I can’t ever fully explain what boxing means to me.” While not a boxer herself, her daughter is also a fan of the sport. “My father was a boxer, I was a boxer, and I was a referee when I was pregnant. Who knows? Maybe one day she will become a referee.” Nelka adds that no parent should be afraid to let their daughter take up the sport.

Beyond her athleticism and technical skills in boxing, Nelka is also a dedicated policewoman. Having joined the force in 1997 as a sub-inspector, her first appointment was to Vavuniya, where the civil war raged. But Nelka was unfazed, having already lived in operational areas due to her father being a naval officer. Her second appointment was to the Ministerial Security Division, where she worked as a security officer for ministers and foreign delegations. She also made achievements as a marksman, being named the Best Police Shooter in pistol firing in 1997 and 1998 and set the record for five consecutive wins of the ‘Best Loser’ award in women’s boxing but not quite reaching her father’s record of seven successive wins of the same.

Throughout her career, Nelka has worked at the Kadawatha Police Station, as a personal assistant to the Senior Superintendent of Police (SSP) of the Kelaniya division at the Nittambuwa Police Station, as Acting Officer in Charge (OIC) of the Kollupitiya division — the first woman to do so at an A1 station, as OIC of the Special Investigations Unit at the Terrorism Investigation Department in the aftermath of the 2019 Easter bombings, at the Illegal Assets Investigation Unit, as personal assistant to the Director of the Criminal Investigations Department (CID) and now works at the Tourist Police as an Officer in Charge of Investigations across the country. (She finds her degree in French and experience traveling to over 36 countries of immense help in her current role.) From a humble sub-inspector, she has steadily risen to become a Chief Inspector of Police.

Nelka has yet to meet a challenge that leaves her beat. She considers every obstacle she faces instrumental in achieving her final goal. “Challenges got me to the Olympics,” she says. She also looks upon them as opportunities — to create a new story.

As a multiracial child — her father was Tamil and her mother Sinhalese — Nelka and her family faced what she describes as “difficulties” during the Black July anti-Tamil pogroms in 1983. Her father’s work in the security forces also put a target on their backs during the 1987–89 JVP insurrection. Her decision to join the police stemmed from these experiences, both in wanting to protect herself, her family, and her country and create a new story.

While still many years away, retirement is nevertheless on her mind. What are her goals for the future? “I’d love to work at the international level, maybe the IOC or the UN,” she says. “I think there is a place for a woman like me, who brings honor to her country and works honestly.” She also wants to help Sri Lankan women to act as role models for them. Her legacy, as she sees it, however, is simple. “I just want them to remember that I am a woman.” Nelka, a mother, wife, police officer, government official, social worker, athlete, and referee, is always busy and loves it. “It makes me happy,” she says. “Every job I do or have done, I’ve enjoyed. Every moment, I am enjoying my life. I never suffered.”

What angers this self-professed, happy individual? Two things: Being pressured to “do the wrong thing” and child abuse. Having spent 17 years at the Women & Child Bureau, including as the Officer in Charge of Cyber Crimes, she says she hates every situation she has encountered but acts responsibly, using the tools provided to her within the remit of the law to do her best for both the women and child victims.

Nelka describes herself as silent but counters that her voice is loud. She adds that her husband and close friends describe her as “a very tough woman.” “I make my own decisions. I am straightforward. I am honest,” she explains.

She recalls the feeling of holding her newborn daughter for the first time after an emergency C-section, wondering if she’d be able to breastfeed. In that moment of vulnerability, an unbreakable bond was formed. “As soon I held my baby close to me, I could breastfeed easily. To this day, I have this question: How does a mother’s blood turn into breast milk?” Motherhood has made Nelka even more determined to uplift women and create a society of equality and respect. She is raising her daughter to be strong and able to stand on her own two feet, just like her. “I want to help Sri Lankan women. I want to help female Sri Lankan athletes. Follow my footsteps, and one day, you can reach that level.”

At the same time, she emphasizes that true equality means “not forcing women to be like men or obtain everything a man obtains. We should fight to get our rightful place. Not to go after equality. To obtain the respect we deserve. The protection we deserve. The position we deserve. The appreciation we deserve.” This nuanced perspective is reflective of Nelka’s profound insight gained through a life of constantly pushing boundaries and redefining norms. “If I am to remove these obstacles, I need to reach higher and gain the power necessary to eliminate those obstacles. With that power, I can uplift others in the sport.” As she envisions a world where her daughter and other young girls don’t face the discrimination and barriers she overcame, Nelka stresses the importance of exposing them to life’s harsh realities as part of their education. “To teach young people the reality of the world, you need to give them practical experience. We have to teach children. We have to give them hope about their future. And about what happens when their hopes are not realised.”

Her indomitable hope for a better future is why Nelka continues forging ahead, achieving what has yet to be achieved. A woman who has defied all expectations turned adversities into strengths and steadfastly refused to be denied her rightful place, Nelka’s journey through the many realms she inhabits is more than a personal victory. It is a powerful and inspiring path that has lit up for all women to believe in their potential, fight for the place they deserve, and carry forward the torch of change.

(Rikaza is a writer, thinker, and storyteller. For over a decade now, she has helped people, brands, and organizations find their unique stories and authentic voices and communicate them to the world. A former journalist passionate about human rights, she lives in the suburbs with one daughter, a few cats, and a pile of books.)

References and Further Reading

  1. Interview with Nelka Shiromala
  2. Nelka, living her father’s dream, Sunday Times, https://www.sundaytimes.lk/210725/sports/nelka-living-her-fathers-dream-450030.html
  3. Sri Lanka’s Queen of the Ring on the threshold of history, Sunday Observer, 18 July 2021, http://archives1.sundayobserver.lk/2021/07/18/sports/sri-lanka%E2%80%99s-queen-ring-threshold-history
  4. A father’s love in a boxing glove, Sunday Observer, 25 June 2021, https://archives1.sundayobserver.lk/2021/06/25/sports/father%E2%80%99s-love-boxing-glove
  5. Police officer Nelka Shiromala, first Lankan lady referee at Commonwealth Games ring Daily News, 28 March 2018, http://archives1.dailynews.lk/2018/03/28/sports/146797/police-officer-nelka-shiromala-first-lankan-lady-referee-commonwealth-games

Notes

This article is pending support to be translated into Sinhala and Tamil. Please email storiesofslwomen@everystorysl.org if you would like to support us with translations or if you have any questions.

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Everystory Sri Lanka

Everystory Sri Lanka (formed in 2018) is a collective of young Sri Lankan feminists identifying as a storytelling collective.